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{"id":30,"date":"2009-04-16T15:09:42","date_gmt":"2009-04-16T15:09:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.kitarawilson.com\/?p=30"},"modified":"2009-04-16T15:09:42","modified_gmt":"2009-04-16T15:09:42","slug":"they-forgot-to-give-me-my-owners-manual","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/they-forgot-to-give-me-my-owners-manual\/","title":{"rendered":"They Forgot to Give Me My Owner’s Manual"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/span><\/p>\n

I
\nrealized recently that before I left the hospital with both of my kids the staff
\nfailed to give me my owner's manual. They just sent me home with these tiny
\ncreatures assuming I'd know what to do with them. Luckily my maternal instinct
\nswitch isn't malfunctioning so it kicks in quite regularly and has since 2001
\nwhen my son was born.<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

The night
\nmy son came home he wouldn't stop crying for about an hour and I was at my wits
\nend because I couldn't get the kid to latch on properly and nothing I did
\nseemed to make him happy. I thought those were tough times, but now? Maybe it's
\njust me, but the older they get the more, um, "challenging" things
\nseem to be and a firm "no" from mommy doesn't seem to hold the weight
\nit used to. <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

I'm
\nbeginning to think that this whole slip of the owner's manual thing wasn't
\nreally a slip at all. I honestly believe they only give it out to families with
\nsix or more children. That has to be it because families like Jon and Kate Gosselin
\nand the Duggars out of Arkansas with 18 kids both seem to have respectable and
\nwell mannered children \u2013 it is the only logical and SANE explanation I can
\nthink of as to why I am pulling my hair out with two while they seem to be gliding
\nby with eight and 18\u2026.and counting! <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

Since I
\nknow it can't possibly be me<\/em>, my
\nfinger points to the government who has decided that families of six or more
\nare only allowed the coveted guide. Once again, politicos making irrational
\ndecisions that aren't best for all but only some. Yeah, that's it. <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

However,
\nI won't gripe and complain over the situation. I don't know anyone with six
\nplus kids who'll let me borrow the book so I can check out the chapter (I just
\nknow there has to be one) on how to tell your kids to do something once and
\nthey do it without having to repeat yourself like a scratched CD. Oh, or the
\none on how to keep your home from looking like a tornado has taken up permanent
\nresidence. Instead I'll have to do what I've been doing and what so many of us
\nmoms have done for thousands of years \u2013 wing it, trust my gut and pray that
\nsomewhere along the way I've done most things right. <\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

I admit
\nthere are many a day, today included, that I just don't know what the hell I\u2019m
\ndoing. They don't to listen to me, I can't seem to get organized enough to get
\nanything done, my house is a safety hazard, my patience is beyond thin and I have
\nto convince myself that despite my low-self worth feelings of doubt around my
\nmothering skills (or lack thereof), God didn't make a mistake in choosing me to
\nmother these beautiful beings. I just wish the government would lift their
\nheavy thumb and make the manual available to those of us with small broods.                                                                  <\/span>                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                <\/span>                                                                                                                                                                                     <\/span> <\/span><\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n

But hey,
\nif you happen to be a mom of six or more out there who is fortunate enough to
\nown a copy of that priceless little gem, since I doubt I'll find it on eBay or
\nCraigslist\u2026.can I borrow it? If you need some sort of collateral my most
\nvaluable treasures are my kids, so can we swap the book for the kids for about
\na week? I'm guessing that won't be too much of a burden on you because you've
\nalready beautifully mastered how to manage six plus kids thanks to that handy
\ndandy book. Two more should be a breeze, right?
<\/span><\/p>\n

Let me know – as a mom do you sometimes wish your kids (and your significant other – your "oldest" child) came with an owner's guide and instruction manual?<\/strong><\/p>\n

In Celebration,<\/p>\n

\"Signature\"<\/a>
<\/o:p><\/span><\/p>\n<\/span>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I realized recently that before I left the hospital with both of my kids the staff failed to give me my owner's manual. They just sent me home with these tiny creatures assuming I'd know what to do with them. Luckily my maternal instinct switch isn't malfunctioning so it kicks in quite regularly and has […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pNPNX-u","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=30"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25454,"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/30\/revisions\/25454"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=30"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=30"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kitarawilson.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=30"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}