The Definition of Crazy

This morning while working out I kept hearing this strange noise and I thought my three-year-old was up to something she had no business doing. So when I went to check it out, it turned out to be a bird on our front porch trying to fly through the window above the door.

It was pretty interesting to watch because the bird would bang against the glass, go sit for a few seconds and try again. I stood at a distance and watched the bird attempt to get into our house at least 15 times. My daughter even joined me and kept saying "silly bird", but I just told her the birdie was lost.

So after a minute or so of watching the bird I went back to resume my workout. Not even a full minute had passed before my daughter came running in to tell me that the bird was now trying to get through the window of the playroom where she was watching TV. The playroom is on the left side of the house.

I went to check it out, and sure enough, there was the bird (although it quite honestly looked like a different bird) trying to get into our house, but it had moved one window down to my son's room. It would bump up against the glass, and then go sit on the fence as if to think, and then try again.

Amused but still determine to finish my workout, I left thinking the bird would figure it out eventually. Again, not even a minute later, I hear that same noise again, but this time it is coming from the dining room, which is on the right side of the house. I go to look, and there it was, the same bird trying to make its way in through the dining room window. By now I am completely convinced there is a message or a lesson to be learned from all of this. Thus my blog topic for today had been revealed to me.

What is the definition of crazy? Doing the same damn thing, the same damn way and expecting different results. From personal experience, I am certifiably nuts.

Like that bird trying desperately to get into my house, I have done things over and over and over, only changing a few minor things, but still expecting different results. Here's an example:

I have dabbled in a home-based business or two and while I've made money, I am not the success story grinning from ear-to-ear standing in front of my Jaguar and custom-built mansion in Georgia. Nope, that ain't me. Why? Because while I've stood behind the products and services of each business I've been involved in, I had a lot of self-limiting beliefs and thoughts that kept me crippled.

I was afraid to open my mouth. Afraid to share this great opportunity I'd found with others. Afraid they'd think I was being too much like the pushy Kirby vacuum salesman that comes to your front door. You know, the one that won't go away until they show you how great their vacuum suction is with all of the little sample filters filled with the dirt from your carpet lined up on your floor, and convince you to shell out $2,000 for a vacuum. My husband had to put a Kirby salesman out one night because the man WOULD NOT TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER. I didn't want people to feel this way about me. "Oh, here comes Kitara. She's going to try and sell me something or want me to join her business", so for the most part, my mouth stayed shut.

I am not a serial direct seller like many people I know hopping from one business opportunity to another. I can count the number of businesses I've associated myself with on one hand, and it's less than five. But still, as I'd move on from one to another, I'd convince myself that "other" opportunity wasn't a good fit for me or it was a "hard sell" and that this new opportunity would be different. Easier. Not so. True, I had changed companies, but I was still bringing the self-limiting baggage I had with me from the last business. And of course the results were the same. There is no way those results can change until I do. The same goes for you and whatever craziness you may be caught up in.

Perhaps it's your weight loss goals? Every year you vow to try a new workout routine. You join the gym, get a trainer and commit to exercising four days a week. Yet, you "reward" yourself with a plate of baby back ribs at Outback after your workout because you did such a good job in the gym that day. And then you have pizza for dinner with your family because you were too tired from your workout to cook something healthy. Adding an exercise routine but still eating the same way you always have and expecting to drop 20 pounds in two months in time for summer is craziness.

Or maybe you're bouncing from relationship to relationship and wondering why "this one won't stick"? If you're needy, demanding, jealous and insecure and always accusing men of cheating or being interested in other women, and yet are shocked and heartbroken when they move on, and they always do, that's craziness.

And here's one of my own personal insanity traps. I'm always rushing. I'm hardly ever late, but right on the verge of it. I don't manage my time well and get easily distracted with other things going on in the house or on the computer. Next thing I know, I've got 10 minutes to get to my destination and I'm scrambling to get the kids out of the house and driving faster than I should. I always feel overwhelmed, yet for some reason I don't plan ahead very well or have enough self-discipline to say NO to whatever it is that is enticing me away from what I should be focusing on – leaving the house on time.

In fact it happened this morning. My daughter's dance class was at 10. I needed to go to the post office 15 minutes away to pick up a package. I planned to be there at nine. We probably didn't walk in until 9:30 and when I got back in the car it was 9:45. I cursed myself for not leaving the house sooner and had to rush like a madwoman to get her to class. I'm crazy.

Like the little bird outside of my house, moving from the front, to the left to the right side of the house wasn't going to make a difference. In some ways my daughter was right, it was a silly bird. It kept trying to force itself into a place it did not belong. And with each attempt, it was met with a "thud" against the window, but it kept trying. Had it resolved to admit that it didn't belong here and try something different, perhaps flying into one of the many trees behind our house, it would've found that to be much easier – not to mention a welcoming environment. Because had that bird made it into the house we would've had some problems.

What craziness are you involved in, doing something over and over and expecting a different outcome? Are you willing to be honest with yourself and admit that perhaps the results you seek will continue to elude you, and they cannot and will not change until you do? A change of scenery does not change the storyline. You've got to rewrite the story to fit the new scenery. It's the only way it will work.

And since this is an honest and open blog, please feel free to share your craziness and perhaps myself or others who are not also crazy in that same department can chime in with suggestions. For myself, I need help with time management because I am truly crazy when it comes to that. So if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears.

Thanks for reading and have a great day!

In Celebration,